The biggest problem of goal setting

There are a lot of books, videos, training to find the latest, fastest, best, most accurate and eventually the ultimate tools that lead to success, which is not a bad thing, if what you want to achieve is really the thing that you want to achieve. How do you know you are doing the things that you’ve always wanted to do?

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I tried and tried and oh yes, tried again to find and do those things I love or at least like to do and can earn money with them. In the meantime I attempted to read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill to become more successful, that is by the way a great book, but for a long time I couldn’t go past the first chapter. It happened when I arrived at the first secret to success that is “DESIRE: knowing what one wants”. But what if you just can’t figure it out, because all the answers seem like someone else’s answers and someone else’s dreams and someone else’s goals and someone else’s visions. When you feel there are great goals in front of you, but they feel a bit distant, a bit sour, they are great OK, but there is a feeling of lack. Something is missing. 

Of course there are many of us who know exactly what they want to do and they are not afraid of achieving those goals, then go ahead and read the next part, it might give you some more help. Or if you are one of those less lucky who have yet to find their desire, then go ahead and read the next part. 🙂

The story of the little annoying voice

I’m sure everybody has already experienced it that sometimes there is a little voice in our head and it talks. It never judges and never gets angry. For example, when you want to buy something like new shoes and you know you have something similar already, but you want to buy it just because… and then the voice inside your head just pops up and says ‘no’. Of course you will buy it and within a month or less bring it back because it is just so uncomfortable or has some kind of flaws you hasn’t realized earlier. 

Is this situation something you’re familiar with? Yes, that little voice was your wisdom and the other one that wanted to buy it anyway and gave you all the reasons why you should buy it was your ego. I gave up counting how many times I did it before I realized it is much better if I just listen to my little voice of wisdom (or soul). When it comes to accepting a job, trying to create an own business or choosing the best dress for a party, it can be useful to listen to that voice.

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Image by Dariusz Sankowski from Pixabay

Why don’t we listen?

 

Mainly because we think it speaks nonsense, or we think it is just part of our imagination, or we ignore it because we know it better. The last one is the root cause of the bad decisions according to my experience since this thought won’t let any second opinion or solution, not even a better one, cross our minds. If we know better then we stop ourselves from the most important thing learning and growing and becoming a bit better each day. (If we know better it also means that there are some insecurities working behind the scenes, but it is the topic of another post.)  

The upside of this is if we finally realize what we want to do, this little voice can affirm our choice and gave us tremendous security. That’s the thing we can succeed in easily. And after all it is still up to us to decide to walk down that road or not. 

Let me tell you a story because before this year I wasn’t really paying attention to it either. I decided to buy a flat. I knew I needed one, but I wasn’t so thrilled… more work for me, yay! In January I found a couple of suitable looking flats with reasonable prices, so I intended to check them. There were three of them. Just before I left to visit the first one a thought appeared: “I go and check MY flat.”. Where did this thought come from? I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to buy one at all, so I felt a bit surprised, but then “ok, let’s have fun, check out if it is really my flat”. So, I did and 3 months later that flat became mine.

“Of course I knew. I just had no idea!” – Sylvester Stallone, Oscar 

How to find your “desire”?

 

Nowadays there are many ways to find your desire and with the vision it comes. I gathered some in hopes you will find some of them useful:

  • Find a quiet place, set aside 1-2 hours of time and sit down with some empty papers and a good pen:
    • Ask yourself this question: what is my deepest desire? How can I live my life fully? Write down everything that comes to your mind. Of course, at first the answers might be a bit ego-driven, but as you enter the flow and don’t try to direct your thoughts eventually the answer will be there. Our brain is very clever and it sits quietly waiting to get a question, and without us noticing it working hard, the answer will arrive totally unexpected. If it doesn’t work at first, no worry, it will get better as you practice more.
    • Personality test: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
    • Ikigai: is a Japanese method to get to know yourself and what makes you truly happy. This way it is easier to find the right profession, if not the right dress or right car to buy.
    • Jon & Missy Butcher’s Lifebook, as I heard you can plan your whole life with it, so you can be successful in all areas of life and hopefully next year I can participate in their training, too.
    • Fear-test: again grab a pen and paper, and write down the things that scare you the most, because we tend to be most afraid of things that mean or would mean a lot to us, simply because: what if I fail?
  • Meditation is always good: it is a great help to see your thoughts for what they are, coming and going, floating things, but we are the ones who decide which one to let go or grab a hold onto it or just let them fly while we observe them. There are many different meditation practices that can help you quiet your mind and learn to dive deeper in your subconscious to find the answers or on the contrary seek help from God, universe or whatever being you might believe in.

 

I hope I could help you a bit getting to know yourself better and with the coming New Year you can set your goals that are worthy of you to pursue.

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