Step back

Happy New Year Everyone! I hope you all had a great time during Christmas and New Year’s Eve! What did you do during the holidays? We played games. Do you know the card game called Dobble? You can play it in various ways, we played it like spotting the matching symbols on the card next in row. The quickest player gets the card and whoever collects the most cards wins. Not so surprisingly I lost. Because I did what I usually do…

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

This game is about being focused and quick to act, but I was way too close and focused, so I didn’t see the big picture and couldn’t find the matching pictures quick enough, or at all… However when I excused me out of the game and stepped back, I could recognize the matching pattern almost instantly. Doesn’t that sound like life? The more entangled we are in a project or situation, the less we actually see from the big picture.

Imagine you are in a project and struggle to move forward, you focus all your attention to solve the problem, but get more and more tangled in it until a point it seems impossible to solve. But what if you let yourself be swayed away a bit and look at it from a distance, just to see the whole thing you are working on. It can be helpful if you check an issue from different angles as well, but you need to remove yourself from it or it will be affected by you – your wild running thoughts can get in the way.

Usually when I’m facing a difficult situation and can’t decide things, then I just decide I won’t make a decision for now, but when the time comes and I’m ready and have all the insights to do so. As one of my favorite coaches, Michael Neill wrote in his book (Supercoach):


“There is no such thing as a ‘decision’ – you either know what to do or you don’t.”


Not so long ago I faced a difficult situation at work. I had a language school, that I loved. So, when I couldn’t come up with a solution because I only focused on the worst possible scenarios (loosing my income, problems with paying back the mortgage, etc.), I met some of my friends.

They listened to me patiently and gave me insights, but you see, those insights didn’t click straight away. But when I started listening to them and the problems they faced and overcame or struggled onward in their daily lives, then it happened and I knew it with perfect clarity what I should do. At that moment there was no doubt, no more worrying, just the steps I needed to take. And again, as soon as I removed myself from the school my tiny little world that was occupied by my job opened up.

When we step back and let ourselves watch the same thing by distancing ourselves from it without judging or simply focusing on something else instead, miracles can happen and the solution just might pop up spontaneously from our inner wisdom. Our minds are waiting for us to ask questions, but then we need to let them work, so we can have our answers to untangle the problems or situations. 


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