You are what you eat, or rather your life is what you think about it? How are our thoughts and fears effecting our every day lives? Can we change this, if we started to go down on our emotional roller-caster. In my opinion, yes.
I think in order to become successful, we need to practice, practice and practice. So, together with another coach we agreed to coach each other as a matter of practice and a source of feedback. I must tell you, I really enjoy it.
When my turn came to become the client I told her a story that happened to me that very day and made me lose my balance for a bit. It was a story when I went to a massage salon that offered traditional Indian massage, that was great even though it hurt sometimes. But the thing that hurt most was when the therapist boldly said:
- You don’t look like you’re yourself … How often can you be yourself?
- You look unhappy? Do you often hide your emotions?
And that pissed me off quite a bit, who is he telling me all this stuff when I spent the last 10 years actually getting to know myself better and if not exactly conquering, but looking in the eye of my fears one-by-one. So, my new coach started asking questions:
- How likely it is that you are not yourself?
- Well, for the last 2-3 years I’m definitely me…
- Ok, and for how long have you been not you?
- For more than 25 years.
- Oh, wow, so, you reached your authentic voice around 2-3 years ago. Can it be that the previous years of not-being-yourself left their mark on your body? How likely is it that the therapist saw that past and simply made you aware of it?
- Yes, that makes sense…
There are more and more healthcare professionals who approach health from a holistic view, they treat the body, mind and soul as a whole taking into account emotional and social aspects, too. Therefore there are some people who were trained to see these aspects and I didn’t think of that at all. All I could think of was my inability to improve and yes, that was my fear and made me angry and anxious that I wanted to credit the massage therapist by creating all those emotions in me, poor me, right? Of course not.
So my coach told me to see this situation from a different perspective: what the therapist said was neutral, he didn’t mean anything good or bad. In fact what he told me could very well show his expertise since I wasn’t really myself for most of my life. Now this means he is great in his job and since 2-3 years of living as me is not equivalent of 25 years, the signs can still be there. Makes sense, right?
The solution usually comes from understanding, so no matter who-says-what that has no effect on us until we attach a meaning, a thought to it which in turn will create an emotion. It is really hard or even impossible to rule our emotions, but we can choose our thoughts. Therefore nobody can make us feel this or that way, because we create our feelings according to our thoughts we cling to.
If we understand this, then we can run our daily lives a bit more conscious, less stressed and more open-minded. And as for my other conclusion: I’m going to visit this massage salon again. 🙂
I hope you enjoyed reading, have a great day!